Why a pile of ingots makes me irrationally happy

Modding Oblivion is weird. I am pretty sure 10 years ago I was all like "I'm gonna download mods, but I am not getting into modding myself, that's way too complicated". I even started out with "just that one or two mods manually, because OBMM is too complicated" (lol to be honest I still can't handle that program, I jumped on board of the BAIN train as soon as it appeared). 
But then I couldn't find my perfect house and I started making it myself and I wanted it to have a quest and ... you see where this goes?

Every time I decided "this is what I'll learn but I keep away from the rest, that's too complicated" it didn't last long. I went from placing objects in the CS over learning OBSE scripts to mixing, matching and editing meshes.

For the last few months I've been importing and exporting with blender, and it worked decently well.  But yesterday I decided for the first time to create something from scratch. I didn't want to go hunting for resources and permissions for something as simple as an iron ingot. 

Took me long enough to get it to work, applying several textures to different ingots gave me a bit of a headache. But it worked. And I am happy. Because this was the last step I had been avoiding. I mean to be honest, this could also be the last step to losing every bit of free time I had left, but who cares.

I seriously doubt I'll ever be really good at it (or even decent, to be honest), but at least I can hope to create a few things myself. Maybe those ingots, maybe a fried egg, maybe a filled bowl and maybe a gemstone.